Let’s be honest Australia, as a country you’re doing OK. And us Kiwis are smart enough to know that we’d do OK if we’re over here with you guys, who to be fair, were actually doing OK without us.

We love Melbourne, we love Perth, we love Sydney and there’s so many of us up in Brisbane the state slogan is now  “Queensland, beautiful one day, over run with Kiwis the next”. In fact the only place we don’t really like is Canberra, which is probably why your government there spent three million dollars on New Zealand television asking “Where the bloody hell are ya?” Which we never got to see as we were already living in Bondi.

Luckily, becoming Australian is not that difficult for us either. We all grew up with Scott and Charlene, we know the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam, most of us can tell you who the original singer for Acca Dacca was and everyone over the age of 30 knows the answer to the question ”David Boon. Sydney to London. How many?” Our Prime Ministers pretend to like each other too, which is nice, and best of all we can get on the dole straight away.

Sure, there’s some parts of Australian culture we can’t quite get our heads around. Burt Newton is a complete mystery to us, we can’t tell who’s a Skip and who isn’t, and have a suspicion that Kath and Kim is actually a documentary series. But generally we’re happy to be here, and generally most of you accept us, even though the line “Welcome to Australia, we’re glad you’re here and so are the sheep back in New Zealand” does wear a bit thin after a while.

There are some things from home we miss though and unsurprisingly decent beer is one of them.

Thankfully one of our most famous exports is Moa Beer.

Moa Beer is to us what Vegemite is to you guys – except you’re not allowed to give it to kids – and most Kiwis have a few bottles of it hidden somewhere. We enter it in all the beer competitions around the world and it keeps winning medals (so other beer companies get a bit dark whenever Moa is mentioned) but best of all it’s now available over here in Australia.

Well, actually it’s been here for a while but we’ve only just got around to telling you because sometimes us Kiwis aren’t very good at getting our act together. Something you’ll notice every time there’s an Olympic Games.

MOA TAP TAKEOVER
THE LOCAL TAPHOUSE

 ST KILDA (184 Carlisle St)
20 MARCH, 7PM

DARLINGHURST (122 Flinders St)
21 MARCH, 7PM

News articles:
Kiwis in OZ

The modern man’s guide to life, according to Moa Beer.

In yesteryear hunting was intense and “fight or flight” was of mortal importance. It was quite often the difference between bringing home the meat or being the meat. Men would wander off into the wilderness for days on end, wielding a hokey-as spear and sporting tiny loin cloth budgie smugglers or flax skirts, in search of something delectable.

I’m no kitten, but thankfully times have changed and hunting is now more commonly associated with less physically damaging activities like; house hunting, trophy-wife hunting, job hunting, car hunting, cougar hunting…..And probably the most enjoyable BEER HUNTING.

This modern form of hunting is made all the more convenient with the development of safari park like drinking establishments. Some of these places, like FORT STREET UNION (Level One, 16 Fort Street, Auckland, NZ), even provide hunters with the beer equivalent of big game, like Moa.

From 6pm on the first Thursday of every month (kicking off in March 2012) FORT STREET UNION will be releasing a new Moa beer species. This Moa will be on tap for the rest of the month and will be $7 every Thursday.

So, gather your gang, bust out your safari suit, loin cloth or flax skirt, and come murder a Moa.

We are pleased to announce the arrival of MOA GROWLERS.

These refillable 2 litre vessels will soon be available in selected locations in New Zealand and Australia. Once you have purchased a Moa Growler it is yours to keep and you can return to the quality establishment from whence you purchased it (or another equally awesome location) and refill it with whichever delectable Moa Beer they currently have on tap (if you are extra fortunate it may even be a Moa Limited Edition Special Brew). This will not only save you money but it will also reduce the environmental impact of drinking Moa Beer. Win, win, win, high fives all round.

One thing you must remember to do is clean your growler thoroughly after use. Growler sanitization is important and will help you avoid your growler cultivating any funky bacteria. No one likes a dirty growler and if you take care of it, then it’ll keep tasting great.

Now, of course we want to give you the opportunity get your hands on a growler, so here’s your chance…

GROWL FOR A GROWLER

Simply email us (sunil@moabeer.co.nz) a photo of you growling for a growler by Friday 9 March 2012 and you could win one of six Moa Growlers.

Enjoy.

Terms and Conditions: The promoter of the GROWL FOR A GROWLER competition (“Competition”) is Moa Brewing Company Limited (“Moa”).  The Competition commences 28 February 2012 and closes 09 March 2012 (“Competition Period”).  The Competition is open to any New Zealand resident 18 years of age who completes the entry during the Competition Period.  Moa and its employees and their immediate families are ineligible to win a prize.  Moa reserves the right to verify the validity of entries and to exclude any entries that fail to meet the entry criteria.  Moa also reserves the right to disqualify any person for tampering with the entry process.  Moa is not responsible or liable for any late, lost or misdirected entries or for any problems which may result in delay or failure to enter the draw.  Prize winners will win a Moa Growler.  6 x Moa Growlers are up for grabs.  Winners will be drawn on Monday 12 March 2012.  Winners will be contacted via email on Monday 12 March and must accept the prize by Friday 30 March 2012 otherwise their prize will be forfeited and another winner will be drawn.  The prize is not transferable or exchangeable and are not redeemable for cash.  The decisions of Moa on all matters relating to this Competition are final and no correspondence will be entered into.  Moa is entitled, in its absolute discretion, to change these terms and conditions without notice (including without limitation substituting any of the prize offered with a prize that it believes is of similar value or benefit) or to cancel the Competition at any time without prior notification.  No claim may be made against Moa or any of its agents, contractors, employees or other representatives in connection with such change or cancellation.  To the extent permitted by law, Moa excludes any liability or loss arising directly or indirectly with the Competition.  By entering the Competition, you consent to Moa publishing your entry and name for promotional and media purposes without any further reference, payment or other compensation.  You also consent to receiving information about Moa Beer and any special offers or promotions run by Moa.  Entry into the Competition is deemed acceptance of these terms and conditions.

The Moa Beer family is a bit like Brad and Angelina’s with children from all over the place. This is because making the same thing everyday gets boring, and bored workers become unhappy workers and unhappy workers set fire to the brewery which costs a lot of money because insurance companies hardly ever pay out the full amount despite what they tell you on telly.

So, we have three new beers for you to try:

- MOA IMPERIAL PILSNER
- MOA QUAD
- MOA RANGI SPECIAL 

These will be released on Wednesday 29 February, 5pm, at the Little Beer Quarter, 6 Edward Street, Wellington.

MOA IMPERIAL PILSNER
7.5%
The Barry White of beers this is smooth, and velvety. A generous whack of the popular Motueka and Nelson Sauvin hops (including some dry hopping) adds a very tropical twist. This beer is moorish beer and would be great with spicy food.

MOA QUAD
9%
This full noise Marlborough quadruple is a favourite at the brewery. Lots of ester aromas and a full malt complement of Carabelge Abbey and NZ Pale. There is a slight nuances of chocolate and caramel, and the elevated ABV gives an extra sweetness and a glowing finish.

MOA RANGI SPECIAL
6.2%
This is an extremely experimental brew. A traditional bitter with a small amount of dark malts added to produce a deep colour and slight chocolate aromas. It retains hoppy notes from the two months barrel aging and light hopping.

*Article updated on Wednesday 11 January 2012

What exactly is craft beer?

If you are unsure what defines a craft beer, you are not alone. It is difficult enough to articulate for those who do understand and there is confusion within the industry itself, let alone for those just trying to enjoy the stuff. The confusion is compounded by the big multi-national players who are attempting to highjack the rapid growth of the genuine craft beer market in New Zealand, claiming their mass-produced beers are ‘craft’.

In November we announced that Moa Beer had become New Zealand’s first craft beer to be sold in duty free stores now that it is now stocked in JR Duty Free. The next day, a large brewery released a release statement claiming they were actually the first ‘craft beer’ to be sold in duty free. There is no disputing that beer has been available in Duty Free before us, but is it craft? It might just seem like a bit of PR tit-for-tat, but it has struck a chord with Kiwi drinkers, many of whom have been taken aback by claims that mass produced beers are ‘craft’.

Kiwi drinkers are being hoodwinked into paying premium prices for beers they’re led to believe are, for example, are hand-crafted in out of the way locations when actually they are being brewed en masse in South Auckland. Much like ‘organic’ labels on products need to be certified, is it time for the liquor industry to introduce a benchmark for ‘craft’ credentials.

This is how we define craft beer:

REMAIN TRUE TO IDEOLOGIES. [*Amended from: IT HAS A TRUE BRICKS AND MORTAR HOME.]

Craft breweries must have real roots and stay true to their birthplace and ideologies.

[*The following has been retracted: The following A craft brewery does not contract brew at different breweries around the country or allow its beer to be brewed under licence overseas. The most important and influential ingredient in beer is water and you cannot accurately replicate your water supply in a different location.]

CHALLENGING THE MASSES.

Creativity, artistry and innovation are at the heart of craft brewing and craft brewers like to push the boundaries with their beers. They experiment with crazy mash ups, high alcohol content, big malt and hop structures and interesting fermentation techniques, to give consumers a range of unique and distinctive flavours that can in fact be polarising. Mainstream beers are made to have mass appeal and although they may be made flawlessly, they are designed to taste as close to water as possible. These are plain Jane beers that are quaffable to the masses, not too malty and not too hoppy.

FINALLY, THE BREWERY MUST HAVE A PERSONALITY OR TANGIBLE FIGUREHEAD.

Made by lots of men and not many machines as opposed to lots of machines and not many men, craft brewing has a human touch.  These human brewers are an eclectic and sometimes eccentric bunch. Their personalities are not only projected through their brands but are also present in their beers. These are the passionate individuals behind craft beer and they will chew the ear off anyone willing to listen to their stories, theories and philosophies, while also vigorously educating them on why craft beer and their beer in particular is the best.

Considering the above, are the big multinational players in New Zealand currently indulging in the beer equivalent of “greenwashing” a.k.a. “craftwashing”?

*This article was updated on Wednesday 11 January 2012 after some discussion on Facebook and Twitter. We do respect and appreciate NZ “craft” beers brewed under contract. We have our opinion and we have chucked it out there. We welcome debate and comments and don’t have our heads so far up our own poopers that we cannot listen to other peoples views.What we are trying to achieve is a clearer more tangible definition of “craft” in order to help educate punters. This is in response to the smoke and mirrors tactics of the big breweries with their so-called “craft” beers. Turns out “craft” is rather difficult to define. Go figure.

News articles:
NZ Herald

(AND ONE IN TWENTY/11)

VIP YOURSELF AT THE NORTHERN KNIGHTS TWENTY/20 MATCHES AT BLAKE PARK THIS SUMMER

Moa Beer and Weka Cider will be flowing at the Northern Knights Twenty20 matches at Blake Park this summer, and some of the Moa team, including the tall, dark and handsome Daryl Tuffey, will be there hosting some VIPs in the Moa tent.

To be in with a chance to win VIP tickets to the Moa tent, email Jeremy@moabeer.co.nz with your appeal, so he can refer it to umpire Tuffey for a final decision.  6 x Moa VIP tickets to the Knights 31st of December match are up for grabs, as well as 2 x Moa VIP tickets to each of the Knights matches on 4th, 5th and 8th of January.  Written appeals will be reviewed, but video appeals will provide umpire Tuffey with additional evidence to assist in accurate decision-making. Full terms and conditions and other boring stuff below. But before you read that enjoy this, our boundary signage. Ah cricket humour, you gotta love it.

Terms and Conditions: The promoter of the VIP YOURSELF competition (“Competition”) is Moa Brewing Company Limited (“Moa”).  The Competition commences 23 December 2011 and closes 30 December 2011 (“Competition Period”).  The Competition is open to anyone 18 years of age who completes the entry during the Competition Period.  Moa and its employees and their immediate families are ineligible to win a prize.  Moa reserves the right to verify the validity of entries and to exclude any entries that fail to meet the entry criteria.  Moa also reserves the right to disqualify any person for tampering with the entry process.  Moa is not responsible or liable for any late, lost or misdirected entries or for any problems which may result in delay or failure to enter the draw.  Prize winners will win VIP tickets to the Moa hospitality tent.  6x Moa VIP tickets to the Knights 31 December match are up for grabs, as well as 2x Moa VIP tickets to each of the Knights matches on 4,5, and 8 January.  Winners will be drawn on 30 December 2011.  Winners will be contacted via email and/or phone on 30 December 2011 and must accept the prize by 31 December 2011 otherwise their prize will be forfeited and another winner will be drawn.  The prize is not transferable or exchangeable and are not redeemable for cash.  The decisions of Moa on all matters relating to this Competition are final and no correspondence will be entered into.  Moa is entitled, in its absolute discretion, to change these terms and conditions without notice (including without limitation substituting any of the prize offered with a prize that it believes is of similar value or benefit) or to cancel the Competition at any time without prior notification.  No claim may be made against Moa or any of its agents, contractors, employees or other representatives in connection with such change or cancellation.  To the extent permitted by law, Moa excludes any liability or loss arising directly or indirectly with the Competition.  By entering the Competition, you consent to Moa publishing your entry and name for promotional and media purposes without any further reference, payment or other compensation.  You also consent to receiving information about Moa Beer and any special offers or promotions run by Moa.  Entry into the Competition is deemed acceptance of these terms and conditions.

Moa Beer and Weka Cider will be flowing at the La De Da New Year’s Festival in Martinborough and some of the Moa team will be there to ensure everyone has a sweet time (especially Moir Laird, our Facebook comp winner).

BEAST BOUNTY

We will also be unleashing some giant beasts on the festival in honour of the giant Moa (dinornis giganteus). This will be in the form of photo backdrops. Hunt these beasts down, shoot them (with your camera/phone) and you could be rewarded with FREE MOA BEER (if you win).

Simply upload your photo to Facebook, tag yourself and tag MOA BEER. The best photo as judged by the Moa team will win 10 cases of Moa Beer. Full terms and conditions and other boring stuff below.

Terms and Conditions: The promoter of the Moa Beast Bounty (“Competition”) is Moa Brewing Company Limited (“Moa”).  The Competition commences 30 December 2011 and closes 01 January 2012 (“Competition Period”).  The Competition is open to anyone 18 years of age who complete the entry during the Competition Period.  Moa and its employees and their immediate families are ineligible to win a prize.  Moa reserves the right to verify the validity of entries and to exclude any entries that fail to meet the entry criteria.  Moa also reserves the right to disqualify any person for tampering with the entry process.  Moa is not responsible or liable for any late, lost or misdirected entries or for any problems which may result in delay or failure to enter the draw.  The prize winner will receive ten cases of Moa Original beer. The winner will be drawn on 09 January 2012.  The winner will be contacted via email on 09 January 2012 and must claim the prize by 31 January 2012 otherwise their prize will be forfeited and another winner will be drawn.  The prize is not transferable or exchangeable and are not redeemable for cash.  The decisions of Moa on all matters relating to this Competition are final and no correspondence will be entered into.  Moa is entitled, in its absolute discretion, to change these terms and conditions without notice (including without limitation substituting any of the prize offered with a prize that it believes is of similar value or benefit) or to cancel the Competition at any time without prior notification.  No claim may be made against Moa or any of its agents, contractors, employees or other representatives in connection with such change or cancellation.  To the extent permitted by law, Moa excludes any liability or loss arising directly or indirectly with the Competition.  By entering the Competition, you consent to Moa publishing your name for promotional and media purposes without any further reference, payment or other compensation.  You also consent to receiving information about Moa Beer and any special offers or promotions run by Moa.  Entry into the Competition is deemed acceptance of these terms and conditions.

As their website boosts “there’s an energy and passion about Depot. Not overly precious or pretentious – just fast, fun and fresh.”

It’s chef Al Brown’s place and reflects perfectly his attitude towards food: in season, beautifully cooked, to be enjoyed with friends.

The founder of Moa Beer Josh Scott and Marketing man Sunil Unka recently took the opportunity to sit down with Al and some of his team, Kyle Street, Joe Williams and Catherine Cordwell to Moa-match the succulent offerings.

MOA BREAKFAST  – DEPOT BACON & EGG DOONA

Depot is “open since 7am” and this combination gets the day started off on the right foot.

Soft pillow like white bun, free range (Frenz SPCA approved) egg, Mahy farms bacon – double pressed pork belly and Al’s signature recipe cherry relish – cherries, fresh ginger, spice (Chinese Five Spice) and sherry vinegar.

A refreshing and fruity lager made with a blend of premium wheat malt, floral Nelson hops and cherries.

The spice and fruit in the relish matches the beer well. Devoured rapidly with sticky fingers this is the ultimate Breakfast of Champions.

MOA BLANC — DEPOT KINGFISH SASHIMI W/ ORONGO BAY OYSTER CREAM, APPLE & TOASTED FENNEL SEED

New Zealand is blessed with exquisite bounty from the sea and no one appreciates this more than Al Brown.

Sweet and clean line caught Kingfish, small-plump and creamy Orongo Bay (Russell) oysters, infused cream with sherry shallots. Granny smith apple providing a crisp-tart finish, with toasted Fennel adding floral notes.

A wheat beer brewed using a blend of 65% wheat malt and 35% barley malt which results in an elegantly smooth beer, with hints of spice and uplifting esters.

The creamy fatty notes of the kaimoana compliment the beer majestically.

MOA ORIGINAL — SKIRT STEAK W/ TOBACCO ONIONS & HABANERO MUSTARD

It wouldn’t be Kiwi cuisine without a slab of beef.

Juicy skirt steak, cut from the plate of a steer. Chargrilled to produce flavoursome smoky notes. Tobacco spice (smoked paprika, flour, salt, black pepper) fired onions and another one of Al’s signature touches a habanero mustard. Made with NZ habanero chilies from “Orcona Chillis ‘N Peppers”.

A classically brewed lager created from a blend of New Zealand premium malts and Nelson hops. Moa Original shows an array of smooth velvety characters on the palate but also has a refreshing floral nose.

The crisp smoky flavours are reminiscent of “bar food” and the sweet hot spiciness is nicely tempered by the beer.

Photos by: Ruth Keber
http://www.fotovisura.com/user/Ruthanne/
http://ruthkeber.wordpress.com/

THE MODERN MAN’S GUIDE TO ETIQUETTE (ACCORDING TO MOA BEER)

Part two of the ongoing series for Denizen magazine, by the founder of Moa Beer Josh Scott.

The first Christmas with my girlfriend and her family, she got me a cool pair of boardies, I then gave her my gift in front of her parents and said “I hope I know you as well as you know me”.  I got her a tiger outfit, handcuffs and a whip.  It was the only time I had ever seen her go bright red and be rendered speechless.  It was a good result and the relationship was swiftly terminated – such is the power of the perfect gift.

So for what it’s worth my gift to you this Christmas is some gift giving advice that I’ve found to be particularly useful over the years and I hope you do too.

TIP ONE:  Never give your Mother a better gift than the one your Father has given her.   Your Dad has to work a lot harder than you to win your Mothers approval.  He gets in trouble for not separating the recycling correctly.  You, on the other hand, can still get away with running over the cat.  So if you upstage your Dad on the 25th do not expect him to bail you out of any financial difficulty for at least the next 12 months.  Dads totally buy into the revenge/dish served cold ethos.

TIP TWO:  Always give your sister something completely inappropriate.  Girls are bought up differently from boys, they learn social skills and seem happy to apply them whenever possible.  Because of this they will instinctively be over appreciative of whatever crap you decide to give them as a gift.  Turn this into a game with your brothers for your own amusement.  See who can get the worst gift to be proudly displayed on her mantlepiece for the longest amount of time.  Interestingly my sister currently has a monkey playing guitar on her kitchen shelf and it’s not the one I gave her in 2008 as my older brother stole it sometime that year.  So she has actually gone out of her way to replace a gift she hates just so she doesn’t offend me.  Brilliant.

TIP THREE:  To impress a new girlfriend get your sister to find the gift.  Your sister will slave over this task for weeks – weirdly she will attach her entire feelings of self worth to choosing something perfect for someone she doesn’t even know for no direct benefit to herself. I don’t know why this happens.  It’s a huge fault in the feminine psyche but also very useful.

TIP FOUR:  Brothers don’t get jack. Seriously.  The only thing your brother requires from you is to lie for him three or four times a year to get him out of trouble with A.) A wife/girlfriend  B.) An employer/member of the IRD C.) A representative of the legal system.  Exchanging wrapped gifts with brothers is awkward at best and the sooner you all recognise that amongst yourselves the better.  The only exception to this rule is the giving of a dead animal that you have just caught/shot.  That’s perfectly fine.

TIP FIVE:  Prime your long-term partner for the ‘us gift’.  If you’ve been with your partner for a while you may be ready to take it up a notch and start investing in ‘us gifts’. An ‘us gift’ is a gift that you pool your money together to buy for each other.  This is a brilliant strategy for getting the things you actually want and also getting your partner to help pay for them.  Traditional ‘us gifts’ include a boat, a motorbike or a trip to the F1 in Melbourne.  The secret to the ‘us gift’ is to start selling it in at least six months in advance by using key female trigger-words.  When describing a boat don’t make the mistake of justifying it with it’s actual purpose (fishing, preferably not with her), instead talk about gliding through the glassy water on a moonlit night in search of the perfect harbour to share a glass of pinot.  Preferably with her.  Similarly Melbourne is all about shopping and restaurants.

TIP SIX:  Christmas is all about the children.  No one likes a Grinch, especially children, so no matter how you’re feeling on Christmas morning make sure you go out of your way for the kids.  Most likely it’s the one day of the year that has the most impact on them so make sure you’re the star attraction.  They will always remember you because of it and in your twilight years you’ll want to trade on that whenever you need stuff shifted.

Right-oh, that’s all.

Merry X

Unlike most of New Zealand who went straight to the drinks cabinet to toast New Zealand’s rugby win, your dedicated Moa team headed down to the shop floor to brew up a celebratory batch they’re calling the ‘Four More Years’ beer.

The Four More Years beer is brewed like a Moa Imperial Stout, infused with Guatemala coffee beans, then added to French barriques for extended maturation.

Moa founder Josh Scott says the beer was not only inspired by the All Blacks’ triumph over the French but also looks ahead to future ABs’ wins at the 2015 World Cup.

“Because the next World Cup is in the UK, we thought a stout was fitting. Plus, it’s big and black like our team – and at 10.11% ABV, it packs a punch equivalent to Jerome Kaino in a crash tackle.

“Given we had France over a barrel, the French barriques are appropriate, and the coffee is a nod to the fact Kiwis will all be getting up early or staying up late to watch the next Cup in 2015.”

Josh says Moa selected the coffee beans after a cupping (tasting) session with boutique Marlborough roasting company CPR Coffee.

“As with beer, there’s a huge difference between good and bad coffee beans. Our cupping session not only helped turn us into proper coffee snobs but, more importantly, it ensured we got the finest quality beans that best fitted our beer.

“The Guatemala beans were chosen because of their low bitterness levels, high aromatics, chocolate aromas and low oil content.”

The Four More Years beer will be lovingly stored in the Moa cellar until 2015, when it will be bottled in 500 750ml bottles, as well as 1.5 litre Magnums, 3 litre Jeroboams and – to ensure there’s plenty to go around at the victory party – 6 litre Methusalahs.

Moa plans to design and unveil the label in 2015, with each bottle numbered and signed by Josh Scott and Moa master brewer David Nicholls.

Fans will have to wait until at least 2013 to place their order… although bribes will be accepted in advance for a place on the waiting list.

MOA ‘FOUR MORE YEARS’ NOTES

Style: French oak aged and Guatemala coffee infused imperial stout.

Tasting notes: Big robust beer. Like a gutsy red wine. Rich dark roasted malt and leather characters, all infused with a delicate coffee aroma that exudes a typical freshly roasted coffee and handmade chocolate flavour.

10.11% Alc.

WIN SIX TICKETS TO LA DE DA

Register with Moa Beer and you and five mates could be punching it out at the La De Da New Year’s Festival in Martinborough.

La De Da is back following the success of the inaugural festival last year with a killer line up including Six60, Fat Freddy’s Drop, Kora, Kids of 88, Donavon Frankenreiter, Katchafire, GZA (Wu-Tang Clan), Zowie, Mt Eden, Computers Want Me Dead and more!

The winner will also snaffle six 1.5L magnum bottles of Moa Beer, six Moa t-shirts, six Moa glasses and six Moa leather coasters. Simply enter your details on Facebook to go in the draw.

By entering your email address you agree to receive occasional, random, mildly entertaining and slightly educational email newsletters from Moa Beer. We reckon they’ll be cool, but if you think they’re stink you can unsubscribe at any time.

For tediously boring legal guff see the full Terms and Conditions below.

Terms and Conditions: The promoter of the Moa Beer New Year’s Experience (“Competition”) is Moa Brewing Company Limited (“Moa”).  The Competition commences 15 November 2011 and closes 04 December 2011 (“Competition Period”).  The Competition is open to anyone 18 years of age who complete the entry form during the Competition Period.  Moa and its employees and their immediate families are ineligible to win a prize.  There is a limit of one entry per person.  Moa reserves the right to verify the validity of entries and to exclude any entries that fail to meet the entry criteria.  Moa also reserves the right to disqualify any person for tampering with the entry process.  Moa is not responsible or liable for any late, lost or misdirected entries or for any problems which may result in delay or failure to enter the draw.  The prize winner will receive six General Release tickets to the La De Da New Year’s Festival 2011, a case of Moa Methode magnums (6 x 1.5L), a set of Moa leather coasters, a set of Moa glasses, and x 6 Moa t-shirts. The winner will be drawn on 05 December 2011.  The winner will be contacted via email on 05 December 2011 and must claim the prize by 16 December 2011 otherwise their prize will be forfeited and another winner will be drawn.  Prizes are not transferable or exchangeable and are not redeemable for cash.  Additional costs incurred by the prize winner in the fulfillment of the prize, including but not limited to travel to and from the event, accommodation and/or incidentals, are not included and are the responsibility of the prize winner. The decisions of Moa on all matters relating to this Competition are final and no correspondence will be entered into.  Moa is entitled, in its absolute discretion, to change these terms and conditions without notice (including without limitation substituting any of the prizes offered with a prize that it believes is of similar value or benefit) or to cancel the Competition at any time without prior notification.  No claim may be made against Moa or any of its agents, contractors, employees or other representatives in connection with such change or cancellation.  To the extent permitted by law, Moa excludes any liability or loss arising directly or indirectly with the Competition.  Moa collects your personal information in order to conduct the Competition, for its internal research purposes and for promotional and publicity purposes, and will hold such information about you in accordance with its obligations under the Privacy Act 1993.  You have the right to access, update and correct such information.  If the information requested in the entry form is not provided, the entrant will not be eligible to participate in the Competition.  By entering the Competition, you consent to Moa publishing your name for promotional and media purposes without any further reference, payment or other compensation.  You also consent to receiving information about Moa Beer and any special offers or promotions run by Moa.  Entry into the Competition is deemed acceptance of these terms and conditions.

This is the latest Moa Beer print ad which will appear in M2, IdeaLog and Denizen in October-November-December 2011:

Belgium is located in exactly the part of Europe that no one ever thinks about going to and is known mainly as a popular venue for wars between non-Belgians over things that have nothing to do with Belgium. The most famous being World War 1, World War 2 and the Battle of Waterloo, which is now marked by an enormous pile of dirt topped with a copper lion from which a terrific view of some nearby council housing can be had.  It also features an interactive visitors centre where you can buy toy French soldiers and watch a surreal film about some small children running through a hay paddock.

Interestingly, despite its violent past, Belgium is still the only country in the world that has more soldiers than actual guns to give them, so whenever there’s any sort of military parade half the army carry replicas. It’s as if the military in Belgium consider showing too much force as being somewhat impolite so the front line of Belgium’s defense is actually bureaucracy.  The making of an apparently simple task rather less straightforward by positioning carefully drafted bits of paper between the subject and their desired object is a Belgian art form and the main defender of its borders.  Not that you’d want to invade Belgium anyway as its only natural resource seems to be piles of bricks.

Generally speaking, Belgium is a pretty safe country with most of the crime taking place at enormously high levels and involving horrifyingly large scale corruption and swindling, all of which leaves the citizens on the street less well-off but otherwise fairly unharmed. Strangely however the process of taking into one’s possession a bicycle that is actually owned by a known or unknown person other than oneself is not actually a crime and is almost encouraged. It also has a King called Albert who’s just an ordinary guy that likes to party and also happens to live in a big house and be on almost all the Belgian stamps.

Not that anyone goes out of their way to collect Belgian stamps as most Belgians are highly embarrassed about coming from Belgium in the first place and feel a need to hyphenate their nationality to other nations as a way to compensate.  There’s no such thing as a ‘Belgian’ as the country is made up of people calling themselves French-Belgians, Dutch-Belgians, German-Belgians and misc-others. There are officially four national languages but depending on which part of Belgium you’re in, people will pretend to not understand the three that are not associated with their adopted hyphenated ancestry.  This internal ‘war of languages’ came to an interesting head last year when the newly elected Belgian Prime Minister chose to sing the National Anthem of France rather then the Belgian one at his swearing in, which, of course, caused quite a ruckus and made parliament promptly collapse. The upshot of which is that Belgium has been running now without an actual government for over a year (beating the previous world record holder, Iraq, by over 200 days).  Weirdly, this doesn’t seem to have had any impact on Belgium at all, mainly because of Belgium’s preoccupation with their one true talent, the making and consumption of over 1,400 different brands of beer.

In Belgium beer is the very essence of the land, the blood of the nation. Beer is something that Belgians have perfected over hundreds of years thanks to generations of intense contemplation by silent orders of monks and atrocious weather. For some reason it’s served in a variety of peculiarly shaped drinking receptacles – not all of them that practical – which adds to the novelty.

We’ve been over to Belgium lots and quite like the place so it’s probably no surprise that Moa St Josephs is brewed in the traditional style of a classic Belgian Tripel where “strong spice and clove characters create complex flavours and aromas which are heightened by its extended bottle conditioning” (thanks Wikipedia).  French-Belgians who have sampled Moa St Josephs say that it is on a par with their own Belgian Tripels and infinitely superior to the Belgian Tripels made by the Dutch-Belgians. Somewhat predictably the Dutch-Belgians say the same thing but in reverse, while the German-Belgians just complain about how crap everything is now thanks to Greece.  So who knows.

I just think it’s funny that Belgium only has two famous residents, Inspector Poirot and Tintin, neither of whom actually exist.

The NBR New Zealand Opera has announced its 2012 Season, revealing an exciting and diverse programme for audiences.

Three operas will be staged in 2012: two main stage productions in Auckland and Wellington – a new production of Verdi’s much-loved Rigoletto, and Smetana’s comic masterpiece The Bartered Bride; and Hōhepa, a new opera, having its world première at the New Zealand International Arts Festival in Wellington.

At the 2012 Season launch event, Moa Beer was also revealed as a new sponsor of the NBR New Zealand Opera, and the occasion was marked with a song by the Opera Chorus about drinking beer.

Photos by: Ruth Keber

THE MODERN MAN’S GUIDE TO ETIQUETTE (ACCORDING TO MOA BEER)

As part of a ongoing series for Denizen magazine, the founder of Moa Beer Josh Scott, gives us a few first hand pointers on the lost art of chivalry.

‘Keep all bodily fluids inside your body unless specifically requested otherwise’. This was the advice my grandfather gave to me when I was eight. This simple and reasonably achievable approach to male etiquette it got me through till I was eleven.

Unfortunately as I got older I discovered male etiquette is rarely simple or reasonable and it was only by a series of ‘incidents’ that I learned not every time is a good time to take a photo, there’s no polite way to eat a chicken wing in bed and my cellphone has not been invited to the wedding.

Male etiquette is actually complicated business; and incredibly important to the survival of the human race. Because unless you get it right you’re never going to be able to make a withdrawal from the bank of ‘that girl’ you’d quite like to sleep with.

Unfortunately there are no practical manuals that give clear instructions on what the rules of male etiquette actually are. All we have are non-sensical fairy tales of property transfer where the white knight rightfully takes the princess off the black knight, or ludicrously open-ended ideals like ‘defending a woman’s honour.’ An impossible thing to do when often the woman’s honour is being challenged by another woman. Generally speaking a guy is never going to be in a situation where it’s acceptable to ask his woman’s enemy to “sort this out outside”.

So the only way to learn how to behave as a man is by eating all the berries to find out which ones kill you.  And there are a lot of berries.

This is actually the main reason James Bond characters are always in their late 30′s to early 40′s.  A 23-year-old James Bond just isn’t credible because at the age of 23, a guy simply hasn’t eaten enough berries to be that suave.

Let’s for instance take the simple example of holding open a door. The actual rules around this are varied, complex and completely change depending on the circumstance you find yourself in.

You may hold the door open for an older woman.  However if the older woman is a ‘second-wave’ feminist you should slow your pace so she is through the door before you are in a position to open it for her.  That way you will not be accused of trying to control her by applying outdated norms. If, on the other hand, she is a ‘third-wave’ feminist you can hold the door open for her just fine as the third wave embraces contradictions, conflict and irrationality and will not see your action as a direct challenge.

You must always open the door for your girlfriend but not in a way that draws any special attention to the fact that you are doing it, as there is likely to be some residual second wave feminist guilt in her somewhere left over from her primary school teachers. However, you must never under any circumstances hold open a door for a woman more attractive then your girlfriend if your girlfriend is present and holding open a door for another guy is best avoided as it leads to an uncomfortable situation where both of you need to make sure the other person realises there’s nothing going on.

On top of all that, physical location in relation to the door is also important. Current male etiquette dictates that you may only open a door for someone within a four-metre radius. Opening and holding open a door for someone who is more then four metres away is considered creepy and threatening. Unless you are a doorman whose job it is to open doors in which case you can do what you like.

One simple action. A hundred different rules. And the only way to learn them is by trial and error. One day when I have grandsons of my own my advice to them will simply be – all men are bastards but women prefer the polite ones.

This is the latest Moa Beer print ad which appeared in M2 and Denizen in September 2011:

The first thing science teachers should do to science students at science school is sit them in front of a computer and google “how many people have escaped from prison and then lived happily ever after until they died?” Because the correct answer is probably about none.

Prison escapers get so obsessed with escaping from prison they spend all their time working on the escape and forget to plan for the sixty years afterwards. Once they’ve let go of the last knotted together sheet everything is all beta-testing and applying patches to problems as they come along. Generally speaking, solving a problem is a lot easier if you don’t think about having to solve the problems created by solving the first problem in the first place. Which is why most solutions are a bit half-baked.

Case in point, the remote control.

I am the same as anybody else. I use the remote control to turn the TV on, change the channel and adjust the volume. I need three buttons. My remote has 47. Science has solved 44 more problems than I was actually aware I had and by doing so has cleverly hidden the three buttons I actually want to use.

Science was so busy escaping from prison it forgot to be useful.

This issue is then compounded by the five separate remotes required to make the correct sound and pictures come out of my telly slash stereo slash dvd slash Sky slash mp3 slash illegally-downloaded-movie-player. Each of which have 47 different buttons and are labelled in such a way as to give no clues as to which piece of equipment they actually control. Science’s answer to this problem is, of course, ‘more science’ in the form of the Universal Remote which takes all the buttons from every single piece of electronic equipment I own and combines them all into one large fustercluck remote where each button does half a dozen different things.

Science thinks this is a good idea because science can’t see the difference between having seven different girlfriends and having one girlfriend with seven different personalities all talking to you at the same time. Obviously science never had a girlfriend and because it never had a girlfriend it thought the Segway was a good idea, which it really wasn’t as it made you look silly and no one was terribly traumatised by the problem it solved in the first place. Which was “I’m not that fond of walking”.

Don’t get me wrong, if the Segway had solved an actual problem like cancer or polar bear shortages then fine. But it didn’t. It was just science for the sake of it.

And it’s this science for the sake of it that has been the undoing of beer over the last fifty years. The can was a bad idea. The high speed bottling line was a bad idea. Forced carbonation was a bad idea. Pretty much everything science said was really neat over the last half century has turned out to be either the beer version of a Segway or a Prius. Which is why at Moa we don’t do any of that stuff and just make beer the way everyone used to make it before they started making it differently.

We’re also not the only brewers that think this way. There’s heaps of great little breweries in New Zealand like Epic, Emerson’s, Tuatara, Crouchers, Renaissance, Yeastie Boys, 8-Wired and Three Boys who all think the same way we do which is why we win all the beer awards and science beers don’t.

So next time you’re at the wholesaler, head over to the craft beer section and thank your lucky stars it’s 2011 and you still don’t have your flying car because let’s face it, Kiwis are crappy drivers who have enough trouble making cars go forwards and backwards let alone up and down and the last thing you want is half a million Kiwis above your head optimistically seeing how far they can go with the yellow fuel light flashing. Because that’s exactly what would happen.

*(Incidentally, I solved my remote dilemma by simply giving my electronics actual names with a labeling machine.  My telly is now called Max, the stereo is called Bronson, the DVD player is called Chantelle etc.. then I wrote each of their names on the top of their remotes with a Vivid. I’ve found that if i think of them as children then I can easily operate them together like a family unit. Physically I might be trying to get Sky to come through the stereo but in my head I’m just getting five kids in the van in time for school.  It works for me.)

PLAY THIS (GEEKY-AS) GAME AND WIN MOA BEER (OR POSSIBLY SOME OTHER STINK PRIZE)

Sign-up online or download the game to your flashy iPhone or your smart-as Android phone.

Capture The Flag is a mobile telephone photography sharing game. Yea huh, it sounds as nerdy and lame as “World of Witchcraft”, “Harry Potter and Dragons”, “fog computing” or “social media”, none of which we understand. But give it a crack, join the Moa team, start taking and sharing photos, and if you do a bang up job and tell your mates, assuming you have heaps of mates, you might win some Moa Beer.

WEEKLY PRIZES
- Top Moa tribe point scorer each week wins a $100 Moa Beer Bar Tab
- Same goes for the top Moa tribe photo

ULTIMATE PRIZES
- Top Moa tribe points scorer at the end of the competition wins a Moa Hunters Patch Party (including enough Moa Beer for 20 people or 10 really thirsty people, whatever Moa branded stuff we have lying around the office, generic food, generic entertainment and Moa Hunter Patches)
- Same same for the top Moa tribe photo

The more people in the Moa tribe, the more likely you are to get some other deals that are too hard to explain, but some will be good and some will be so stink you’ll just find them annoying. There are also some really boring prizes and deals available from some other muppets, but they are probably not worth mentioning.

Winners will be announced on the MOA BEER Facebook page.

The game kicks off on Friday 09 September 2011 and the ends Wednesday 30 November 2011.

Sign-up online or download the game to your flashy iPhone or your smart-as Android phone.

If that’s not enough information for you, email sunil@moabeer.co.nz for a tedious and long-winded explanation and full terms and conditions.

News articles:
StopPress
IdeaLog

Moa beer has unveiled a new billboard on Symond Street in Auckland. Hopefully the visiting English rugby team and supporters enjoy it.

We at Moa Beer would like to offer our humble apologies to the many people enraged by Moa Beer calling the Pakistani Cricket team liars and cheats. (An allegation that has only ever been proven with easily falsified recordings, filmed evidence, player affidavits, bank account receipts and a ban from the ICC). We didn’t realise the actions of a few would be sensitive to so many. Because of this our shameful beer promotion has been exposed to thousands of people all over the world and we have been inundated with strongly worded protests.

So we would like to take this opportunity to humbly apologise to all those that have emailed us to formally register their complaints.

Finally we would like to apologise to all the people that have threatened us with Pakistan’s considerable nuclear capability. We at Moa Beer don’t want to be blown up and were genuinely unaware that the nuclear weapons of Pakistan were in the direct control of so many people scattered around the globe.

In closing we again offer our heads on pointy sticks to all those we have offended.

UPDATE: 18 August 2011 – Telecom NZ has pulled out of their abstinence campaign.

ORIGINAL POST: 17 August 2011 -

With the Rugby World Cup* nearly upon us here in New Zealand, it has been reported by TVNZ and in the NZ Herald that Telecom NZ has launched a campaign encouraging New Zealanders to support the All Blacks by giving up sex for the duration of the tournament (the best part of two months).

Former All Black captain Sean Fitzpatrick will front the campaign and participants will be issued with black rubber rings to show they are behind the campaign.

Moa Beer are taking completely the opposite approach and are encouraging supporters to indulge in sexual activity. They’ll even reward you.

Simply post on the Moa Beer Facebook page (before kick-off on Friday 9 September) the number of points you think Dan Carter will score during the RWC* and then match every point with a sexual encounter during the same period. If you get the number right and match the scoring then Moa Beer will reward you with a case of Moa 1.5L magnums.

For example if you guess 64 points, Dan scores 64 points and you score 64 sexual encounters, you will then score a case of Moa 1.5L magnums.

This campaign will be supported by Moa branded anti abstinence condoms (pictured below) and the following (unconfirmed) promotional lines:
- SLIP THROUGH THE GAP
- SLOT ONE BETWEEN THE STICKS
- SCORE IN THE CORNER
- GET OVER THE LINE
- GET RIGHT IN BEHIND THE TEAM
- GO ONE FOR ONE WITH DAN

* Please note Moa Beer is not a sponsor of the RWC 11
# Please note Moa Beer is not a sponsor of the All Blacks

News articles:
M2 Magazine

As reported in the NZ Herald, Moa Beer, has been sent a formal warning which demands that we remove a few references to “Champagne” on this website. The letter was sent by the director-general of Comite Interprofessionnel du Vin de Champagne, the body which represents Champagne wine producers in the northeast of France.

The references are on the Process page under brewing techniques and twice on the News page in an article about Moa Breakfast.

The first reference is to the fact the beer is bottle-fermented, “like they do with Champagne”.

The second is from founder Josh Scott, comparing Moa Breakfast Beer to drinking Champagne at breakfast, and then the last one is again in reference to the brewing technique.

In the cease and desist letter Director-general Jean-Luc Barbier wrote that the name Champagne was protected by national laws and trans-border regulations.

He said the rules protected against exploitation of Champagne’s reputation, imitation, evocation or any use likely to mislead consumers.

“[We] ask you to immediately amend or delete any reference to ‘Champagne’ and to refrain from associating your beer with Champagne.”

But we have refused to back down and we thought the letter was a little bit overbearing and petty.

It’s obvious that we’re a brewery in the business of brewing beer and unmistakably from New Zealand. We’re not trying to pass ourselves off as a sparkling wine from France.

There is no chance of consumers being mislead, so no consumer protection is required.

This is just the latest in a spate of large companies bullying smaller businesses.

NZ Dairy giant Fonterra is battling to prevent a Waikato cheese-maker from using the word “vintage” to describe its gouda. As well, this week DB Breweries forced a Central Otago brewery to stop calling its beers “Radler”, because DB trademarked the name in 2003.

Our response to the French letter was this postcard in Te Reo Maori and featuring the bombing of the Rainbow Warrior:

Moa Beer has signed on as the official beer of the New Zealand Olympic team and will be supporting the team to the hilt as it prepares for the 2012 London Olympics.

Our Moa Brewery founder Josh Scott – a champion cyclist in his own right - says it’s all about Kiwis supporting Kiwis.

“Like our Olympians, we’re classic Kiwi champions – underdogs taking on the big guys, punching above our weight and beating them at their own game. As a premium beer brand, we know what it’s like to win gold and we want to help our Kiwi athletes to achieve similar success.

“This is the first time a craft brewery has held this level of sponsorship in New Zealand and we believe it’s also a world-first,” Scott says.

“It’s exciting for the industry as it really puts New Zealand craft beer on the map, and it’s also a wake-up call to the big brewers. We’re playing in the big leagues now – and we don’t have to sacrifice the quality of our beer to do so.”

Scott says Moa is committed to a long-term relationship with New Zealand’s champion sportsmen and women. “We’re excited that a wholly New Zealand-owned brand (with a uniquely Kiwi name) will be supporting our team. Unlike a certain Japanese-owned, German-named beer brand which has forsaken our Olympians, we ‘believe’ in our athletes and will be backing them all the way to London and beyond.”

Full details of the sponsorship will be announced over the coming months. Initial activity will see the release of limited edition Moa Olympic packaging – “black labels to match our athletes’ black singlets,” says Scott – and of course Moa beer being served at NZ Olympic Committee, VIP and partner events both at home and abroad.

Josh Scott says he’s looking forward to having the chance to showcase the best of Kiwi craft brewing to the world.

“It also means Kiwis can finally get to celebrate our success with a decent beer for a change.”

News articles:
NZOC
NZ Herald
Foodworks
Foodie
StopPress NZ
Idealog

New Zealand’s best home-crafted beer has been found – in an Auckland laundry.

After three months of sampling dozens of home-brewed beers crafted in sheds and basements across the country, Auckland photographer Niels Schipper has been announced as the inaugural winner of the Moa Beer Home Brew Challenge, held in association with George FM.

Niels’ beer – Schipper’s Bitter – beat out 20 competitors, many entering several different varieties, to be judged the winning brew by Moa founder Josh Scott.

Following his victory, Niels was whisked down to the Moa brewery in Marlborough to brew up a batch of his Schipper’s Bitter under the tutelage of Moa’s legendary Master Brewer David Nicholls. The result has been bottled and kegged, and debuted at a special event in Auckland on June 23.

Moa beer baron Gareth Hughes says Niels blew away the competition with his bitter.

“While Niels’ bitter took home the prize, all six of his entries were top-class brews with the right complexity and carbonation. It’s a real achievement given the guy’s brewery is a laundry!”

Home brew champion Niels describes his winning brew as a full-bodied, bitter style beer.

“Schipper’s Bitter is extremely well rounded with a decided bitterness, off-balanced with a moderate malt and low hop character. I’m keen to see how the larger-scale brewing and bottling at the Moa Brewery adds to the flavour.”

Niels puts his recent success down to a committed brewing style. He long ago abandoned the idea of using pre-prepared kit sets, sourcing only fresh ingredients and investing up to seven hours in preparation for each brew.

In typical Kiwi style, Niels isn’t above using an old chilly bin, an inorganic collection gem, for mashing ingredients or a 30 litre tea urn as his boiler.

His biggest tip for aspiring brewers – “there’s a big difference between home-brew and craft beer. Make an active decision to brew the best”.

Given the quality of brews on offer this year, Hughes hopes the Moa Beer Home Brew Challenge will become an annual event.

News articles:
TVNZ Close-Up
Sunday Star Times
Foodworks
Foodie
Infonews
Business to Business
Localist

We hope you like the latest Moa Beer ads.

Those amazing creative geniuses in Wellington, New Zealand have got resource consent to put up their really neat sign, as featured in the NZ Herald, and Moa Beer is pleased to announce our involvement in this fantastic project by offering a Beer-Bounty to anyone who knocks it down.

Successful application of civil disobedience will get you 10 cases of Moa Original and 5 cases of Moa Reserve, with the bounty re-offered every time the sign is replaced – no questions asked.

And seeing as the sign itself is completely un-original it would be nice if it could be destroyed in a completely original way, so feel free to think outside the box a bit.

Update 01 June 11: According to the NZ Herald the Wellywood sign is on hold. A good result, now let’s give them some better ideas